the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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