just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
