Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
