so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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