Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
