I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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