I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
