He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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