Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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