you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
