dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
