Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
