Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
