I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
