you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
