You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
