he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
