I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
