She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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