brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
