Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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