listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
