You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Of course I have a pirate flag
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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