sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
