I understand Curling. That high.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize