I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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