Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
