is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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