The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Let's get the cat blown out
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
