Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
