we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
