Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So squirting runs in the family.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
