Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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