Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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