I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
