I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
