Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
