it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
