a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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