Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
