I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize