she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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