is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
