your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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