i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
