Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize