I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Randomize
