just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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