Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
