bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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