my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
is wine microwaveable?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
