Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
