if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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