Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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