just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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