Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
