Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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