shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
