I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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