Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
